I know everyone says time goes faster and faster as you get older, and this has definitely been true for our first year of marriage. Heck, it’s been the last almost 9 years together (NINE?!). Today I am sharing a few things I have learned about being married, and later this week will post some of our favorite wedding gifts we got and some things I wish we would have added.
Things I’ve Learned in a Year of Marriage
- Compromise. Always – The older I get the more I preach compromise (mostly to myself). Marriage is all about the compromise. Do what your spouse wants to do sometimes. Or talk about how both of you can get what you want out of the situation.
2. Conversation is key. This is something I work on a lot myself. Nick is pretty good at asking how my day was or telling me all the things that have been going on. Me, not so much. I also am really good at compressing my thoughts until they bottle up so much I think I am going to explode and then it never ends well. Nick has also learned and can tell when I feel this way and refuses to end the conversation until I tell him what is really wrong. And I may not even know something is, but after we just sit and talk it always comes out. Always keep your partner in the loop.
3. Little Deal or Big Deal? I teach first grade and I always tell ask my first graders, “Is this a little deal or big deal” and they have to self-reflect and if it is just a little deal, then they have to figure it out on their own. If it is a big deal, we talk through it. I have transferred this theory into our marriage as well. Again, mostly for me. Of course spouses and couples get on each other’s nerves and of course I am mad at the time, but before going to far I always ask myself the Little Deal vs. Big Deal question. Is this going to matter next week? Tomorrow? Next year? If yes, ADDRESS IT! If not, maybe think about the other spouse and how they were thinking about it. It helps me get over things much quicker.
4. Realize the simple things. For us? Making the bed every. morning. We did it a few times last year just before leaving for work and we both always said how it made our day seem better and it was the best feeling to get into a nicely made bed at night. We both do it in the morning together. And this time is so silly simple, but at the same time means a lot. We are doing something together right away in the morning, chatting about what we are going to do all day, and then when we come home we know its done. Now I know some of you are thinking, “Ok, let’s see how long you do that for.” And that’s okay. I know for us it means a lot and I am realizing the simple things we do together that brings joy to us.
Have we been together a long time? Yes. Do we know everything about relationships? NO! But the said above are just some general realizations I have enjoyed thinking about recently with our anniversary coming up and I wanted to share them with you. Have any other marriage/relationship advice you have found to be useful? Comment below, I’d love to hear!